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CURIOUS CASE OF KEVIN KLAAG
Date: 2018/01/10 12:11 By: bulldust Status: Admin  
Karma: 0  
Admin

Posts: 55
graphgraph
Er, okay. The Bull wasn’t sure what to make of this. When a cap starts with “Curious Case”, you know there is going to be some wacky shit involved. Wacky shit is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, most of the Bull’s best adventures started with some wacky shit breaking out. Everything is quiet. All the peeps are chilling, then *WHAM* wacky shit. That’s when it all gets real. This is how the Bull ended up with that piercing. But we don’t talk about that. It was just one of those things.

But let’s get back to this cap.

First of all, we are missing a crap-ton of hyphens:

forty year old
great grandfather
red haired
middle aged
long dead
etc.

The other grammar stuff was normal missing commas, two words that should be one, etc. You know what I mean, regular stuff, but the hyphen thing needs a good inspection.

The premise that Kevin Klaag regularly becomes one of his deceased relatives, every seventh one a bad seed, was intriguing enough. It was enough to peak my interest. However, I found it lacked direction. Sure the fact that he was becoming different relatives was a good plot device, but a device is not the end product. We need more.

The cap needs more plot. Plus, ending the cap at the point that Klaag is staring back at evil eyes, ready to unleash any number of evil acts onto the world is a cop out. How does he deal with this? It’s like ending a television show’s season on a cliffhanger and never renewing the series.

I suppose it could end like this were there more fleshing out of the rest of the cap. As is it seems anemic. There needs to be more. The framework is there, waiting to be built upon.

This cap needs more time, more work. Once it is finished, this could be really good. But for now, no, it is not ready.
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    Topics Author Date
New! emo
CURIOUS CASE OF KEVIN KLAAG   
bulldust 2018/01/10 12:11
New! emo
thread linkthread link Re:CURIOUS CASE OF KEVIN KLAAG   
rockefeller 2018/01/13 10:08