This baby has everything Rocks likes in a cap: sex. It even has a hybrid vampire-werewolf bitch. Also it's well written. The prose is fluent, but not so fluent as to get in its own way. At first Rocks thought maybe it was an excerpt from some longer work. Jumps right in without a lot of character introduction. But then he decided it was just hitting the ground running, which is good.
A number of things make it an unlikely fit here, though. First, it's pretty long, well into novelette territory. Another few words and it'd be into TQR's "better be the best story ever told" range. Also, it's very nearly a True Blood fan-fic. Different characters, but definitely of the same "sexy supernatural beings living among us" genre, albeit of lesser variety and with a slightly more noir-ish, PG tone. Thing is, although it does it well, perhaps even very well, it doesn't really bring anything new to the table, which, unless Rocks is mistaken (and he often is) is kind of a requirement, not only in his own personal reading enjoyment, but for getting over TQR's ridiculously high bar. So no. Though perhaps, even hopefully, Rocks' esteemed and bullish colleague will feel differently.
Maybe the VC could expand it into a novel wherein its characters might be deepened a bit more. It has its appeal. Ramping up the erotica element a level or two might give it a Shades of Red (as is, the title is terrible, kind of puerile or something) type appeal. Or just google then wander over to "The Submission Grinder" and search for markets specifically catering to your sort of thing. Despite The Grinder's having blacklisted TQR for various insensitivities, improprieties and indiscretions (i.e., our vetting process), it's still the best writer's market website out there. There you will find literally thousands of zines willing to send you politely worded form rejects (making it clear that it's not you or your very fine work but them and their esoteric tastes that led to their difficult decision to pass) and put you on their emailing lists that you may be kept always abreast of their various contests and promotions. The Grinder itself is a respected SFWA-qualifying market. Really, it's quite amazing all the opportunities a writer has today to submit her work, and even, in rare instances, have it more or less read.
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Re:DANGER IN THE DARKNESS
Date: 2018/08/14 15:39
There are two things the Bullmeister is generally sick of, pretentious-ass elves and poserific vampires. In his opinion the genres are just an excuse to make unrealistically attractive, politically manipulative, haughty bitches who are projections of high school mean girls. Even the guys are just mean girls with dicks. No, the Bull cannot abide the vampire poser.
Having been close friends with those of the Elvin/Vampire fan base, the Bull has no ill will toward those who love these characters. The Bull would just prefer to avoid anything that sparkles, has fangs, or pointed ears (Trek excluded, of course). And knowing that “Fifty Shades of Grey” was essentially a “Twilight” fanfic, makes the Bull not keen on the whole concept.
“Danger in the Darkness” was 12000 words and a freaking vampire was on the second page. However, the Bull persevered and read the entire cap. This is the story of a retired spy, John, a manipulative vampire bitch, Alexandria, and a cast of werewolves, vampires, and humans doing the things vampires, werewolves, and humans do in these stories, fight each other, splatter blood around and put themselves in sexual situations.
The cap is written well enough. There were only a few minor things that need editing. It is technically fine. My point of contention with this cap is that it is another telling of the “too sexy” vampire seducing the defenseless human into groin-slamming. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But it’s always this game of “Oh I shouldn’t be banging this vampire, oh but s/he is so hot, oh I’m going to do it anyway”. Dude, if you want to bang the vampire, just go with it.
The plot itself was pretty standard, not bad, but no big surprises. However, I didn’t feel much of a connection with any of the characters. There is a lot of information disclosed as far as where the characters have been and their basic stats, but the feeling is lacking. I understand that vampires are supposed to not be human, and maybe that was why it was so emotionally dry.
Maybe the Bullmeister was the wrong guy to read this cap. Maybe a different audience would be enthralled with it. However, I have to say no.