So happy you decided to give us a shot at publishing Mr. Frugal. We examined the capital and decided it didn't fit in our vision.
Hah. Sorry, I was trying to sound all literary magazine elite and all mighty and snobby. But we're not all about that. So, I regret to inform you we will not be able to use the capital you sent us because (1) the monkey did not go ape shit, and (2) we did not like it. Plenty of zines out there, and believe me, I've witnessed it, they will publish practically anything, so you've a good chance to publish, sirah. Once again, thanks for noticing us and giving us a chance to publish your work and give you lots of money.